Every year I marvel at how fast a year goes but how much it holds. Before I look ahead to 2025 I'm reflecting on 2024, all that it held, and what I learned. I hope you're finding some time to reflect on that past year, and to set some intentions for the new year.

If you'd like to reflect and set intentions with guidance in an encouraging workshop setting, Your Year to Shine is still open for registration. All the workshop content is available now and we'll have our first workshop meeting on Sunday, January 5.

And now to reflect on 2024...

SHINE in 2024

My word for the year was shine. This is a special word for me because growing up, and to this day, my mom has said about my sister and me, "Kelsey shines and Elizabeth sparkles." I've always loved that and the descriptions fit us well! For my year of being 40 I loved having this special word as an intention.

When I thought of "shine" this year I asked myself, "What is making me shine right now? How can I lean into that? What can I do to help myself shine more? What can I do to help my kids, marriage, and friendships shine?" I love this framing of considering myself and how I can affect others.

This year, there were seasons and particular moments when I felt that I rose to challenging occasions of helping my kids shine. I'm really proud of that. I think towards the end of the year I saw that having too many commitments and too much on my to-do list did not make me shine. Things to think about in 2025!

Who helped, inspired, or guided you this year?

A few people, conversations, and books come to mind...

Chris really helped me during a conversation about a struggle I was having when he said, "It seems like you're seeking validation that you're a good person but really only you can give that to yourself." It felt like the kind of epiphany I would have in counseling, and I continue to think about it and try to practice it.

In addition to that, a friend told me that she's come to realize that life will have deep complexities: we can be happy and joyful even as we have hard or sad things in our lives. Or we'll try our best at something and it still won't work out the way we wished. Sitting with that and accepting it feels like an important lesson to meditate on here around midlife.

Another nugget of golden wisdom is from Elisabeth who shared her reflections on being a mango (and why it's okay if not everyone likes you).

Two books that I read towards the end of the year also had inspiration and guidance. The PLAN led me further down the path of seeing how to manage my time and to-do list in real life, not in a theoretical life that is free of unexpected challenges, messes, and kids who don't like the dinner we made. Those are just part of the fabric of life right now. And I'm sure they'll continue in some form forever!

Meditations for Mortals was in a similar vein of giving permission to be a real, fallible, and finite human. I'd love to own both books and thumb through them from time to time.

What was hard?

We started the year in a really challenging place with parenting one of our kiddos. I won't go into specifics but at times it was all-consuming and we didn't know what to do. A year later I am so thankful and happy to report that we are in a completely different and very healthy place! We put in a ton of effort to be attentive and supportive (beyond what we normally are), we sought additional support, and I think a year of growing and maturing made a difference too. I'm really proud of our kid for navigating a hard time and I'm really proud of Chris and myself for our efforts and teamwork.

Also: the election was hard, and my dear friend being diagnosed with breast cancer was hard.

What brought you joy?

Many of these will show up on my list of 40 favorites from the past year (stay tuned...), but why not mention joyful things more than once?

The coziest podcast retreat with Erica in February. Being at the ocean for the first time with our whole family (on previous trips Maeve was not with us!). "Coffee and reading time", as well call it, with Maeve in the early mornings. Hearing the news that Chris was promoted to full professor. Being home alone for two nights at the beginning of the summer. Chris's office being relocated much closer to home. Seeing Dash thrive as a 6th grader. Affection and expressions of love from Cedric. Maeve learning to swim, and rocking preschool 4's. Book club. Solo trips to Portland and Nashville. Dear friends moving to Tucson. December work days next the Christmas tree and streaming fireplace.

What did you learn?

A few lessons I learned and am carrying with me from this year...

One is that everyone – everyone – is carrying something hard. You won't always know about it but it's there, and everyone deserves your compassion, just as you deserve theirs.

I also saw so many times that to connect to kids you need to show that you hear them and see them (isn't that true for adults too?). I've use the advice from The Happiest Toddler on the Block of mirroring the emotions and articulating the feelings of kids who are having a hard time and it's so effective, for my preschooler and for my tweens.  (I think the video version is best to quickly get the gist - perhaps its available for streaming from a library service! If not, I think the $9 is worth it, especially if you have a preschool age child.)

I learned that in the face of politics that make you angry or feel despair, getting involved at the local level helps, and makes a difference.

I learned (again) that the summers and our fall break are so hot and so long. I've not yet learned how to make them better to the point that I truly enjoy them.

And now, a quick rundown of my goals and how I did this year. You can also see how I was doing midyear if you'd like.

Personal care & growth

+ Always be reading. Yes! Not a banner reading year in terms of what I read but I'll finish a little more than 80 books this year and I'm thrilled with that.

+ Establish healthy news consumption habits. I did well overall. Panstuit Politics and The Ezra Klein Show continued to be my go-tos. I did not end up picking up additional podcasts or newsletters for news coverage as I thought I would, but that's okay.

+ Take at least three days completely off. I rocked my Leap Day day off. And then sickness foiled my plans for my summer day off and just recently for my birthday day off! I'm still hoping to re-do my birthday day off this holiday season. This is a goal worth repeating. I love a full day off, and don't we all deserve a few days off a year?? (Yes we do.)

Health

+ 230 workouts. I'll finish the year with 204 workouts. Not my stretch goal of 230 but still completely happy with that. What I care about is that exercise is a consistent part of my life, and it is.

+ One "push" week once a month. I don't think this ever came to fruition. I realized I don't have the additional bandwidth for this much beyond my normal workout routine.

+ Maintain an average of 7 hours of sleep per night. I didn't make this goal. My average sleep (as tracked by my Apple Watch) is pretty consistently in the 6 hour range. Often I get at least one night with 7 or 8+ hours a week so this helps me "catch up", and I don't feel tired during my days. But there's nothing like an 8 hour night of sleep! This is one to keep working towards.

Relationships

+ Monthly one-on-one time with each of my kids. I abandoned this structured goal after a couple of months, but continue to seek one-on-one time with each of the kids, especially the boys (since naturally I still get a lot of one-on-one time with Maeve). Even running errands with one of the boys "counts" and they both make great companions.

+ Establish family meetings. This has not worked for us! Having a four year old in the mix makes it really challenging. Instead of the more formal structure that I'd like, I am trying to communicate more about the week's schedule or bring things up to talk about over breakfast, like, "What are some dinners you'd like to have?" or, "Hey just remember that this week we'll have a babysitter on Thursday night."

Creativity & fun

+ Find the fun and shine as a fun vacation mom on our family trips. Here's what I wrote at the beginning of the year: "Family trips can be a lot of work and there are sure to be frustrating moments but they are also incredible opportunities for family bonding." And it all proved to be true! I went into the trips with a good attitude and to the best of my ability rolled with the ups and downs. I feel like a more seasoned travel parent and am ready for more this year.

+ Watch lots of summer Olympics! Yes!

Work

+ Run the Your Year to Shine goals workshop again! Yes! This is underway now. A year ago I had not run a workshop yet, and now I'm in the midst of my third. I'm so proud!

+ Explore: writing another workshop on a new topic and an overhaul of my blog website. Yes and yes! I worked so hard to write and teach my workshop Everyday Habits, Routines, and Rituals in the fall. I am also in-progress with a website overhaul with Amanda (she also designed our beautiful Girl Next Door podcast website). I can’t wait to show you the beautiful designs she is creating!

+ Produce more content for The Girl Next Door Podcast. Yes! We produced more free content as well as more bonus content for our Patreon subscribers.

Home & finances

+ Move to a new budgeting software. Yes! We fully migrated to Monarch and really like it.

+ Complete two gallery walls: in the front room and in the hallway. Not. At. All. Disappointed although I had so much going on this year, and these kinds of decisions are hard for me.

+ Collaborate with Chris on at least one creative home project. Also no! Just not enough bandwidth, but the desire is still there!

What about you, friends? What guided you this year? What did you learn? What was hard? What brought you joy? I'd love to hear any reflections that you'd like to share. Wishing you a fun end to 2024!