matching pajamas from Hanna Andersson, my favorite brand of pjs

Hi June. The year is nearly halfway over but so far 2020 is leaving me feeling heartbroken and exhausted. Maybe you too? I went into 2020 declaring it to be an auspicious year. A year for MAGIC. And there has been magic in the year. We welcomed the most perfect baby girl. We've enjoyed the extra time together as a family (although there are definitely some hard days!) and being unbusy as a family. I've also felt so proud of Chris and myself for rising to the occasion of handling having the boys at home and having an infant to take care of all while managing our own stress about a global pandemic.

Also, in the past few weeks as a country we have (rightfully) been forced to confront our deep and systemic racism (once again). Although the knowledge of systemic and acute racism in our country is not new to me I too have been reflecting at how easy it is to slip into a white privilege mindset and let regular action to combat racism take a back seat. I'm thinking about how to be more proactive about anti-racism and how to incorporate the practices into everyday life. As I mentioned before, I'm percolating the blog posts I want to write about this. I have so little time to write right now so they probably won't publish as quickly as I would like but I look forward to writing those words, gathering resources, and sharing them with you. The most optimistic writing I have seen thus far about 2020 is from Leslie Dwight, "What if 2020 isn't cancelled?" and I am trying to remember that sentiment.

June is our last month of having Chris off of work for parental leave. We are so thankful that he is able to take off 12 weeks and I know this is significantly more than most parents (especially fathers) get in this country. But also given that we don't have the summer camps, public pools, and indoor trampoline parks we thought we would to keep the boys busy I sure do wish he had a few more weeks off work. I'm already starting to mentally prepare and am brainstorming ideas of how to manage two boisterous boys and a baby on my own (eeek!).

I mentioned that we would be maintaining some structured learning during the summer and so far this is going really well. I'm so pleased! The virtual class Cedric is taking isn't amazing unfortunately but so far he's at least engaged for the 50 minute class. The class Dash is taking, however, is great. Every day he builds something and usually it's tied to a story the teacher told them. He asked us excitedly if he could keep doing the camp (as I call it) after the first week which was great to hear since the classes runs through June. The boys classes are at 9 a.m. and 11 a.m. so those take us to lunch time and a 75 minute rest time follows. That just leaves the afternoon which feels manageable (most days). Sometimes Chris will take the boys swimming at my sister-in-law's house. Sometimes the boys will play nicely while listening to an audiobook. Sometimes Maeve is calm and we can hang out as a family. On Friday afternoons as a treat to the boys (and to us honestly) we let them watch an hour or two of shows. On Sundays we do a family movie night. (The movie Honey I Shrunk the Kids was one of my favorites growing up and it was so enjoyable to watch with them.) This is more regular screen time than they've ever had before but you know what? I'M FINE WITH IT. Because pandemic; we could all use some time to zone out.

Big things happening in June:

+ Maeve is two months old. Weighing over 14 pounds, wearing size three month clothes, and with chunky thighs. She is a joy.

+ Father's Day.

+ Chris returns to work at the end of the month. We aren't sure yet if he'll need to be in the office or will be working from home.

June goals:

+ Three workouts/week. I'm aiming for workouts on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I can do a workout in the morning around 7 or 8 a.m. or after Maeve goes to sleep. I'm doing at least one virtual High Fitness each week plus one or two Orange Theory workouts through the app. And I just found out that there are live virtual Orange Theory workouts available as well.

+ At least one random act of kindness. I've been the recipient of several acts of kindness lately usually in the form of front porch drop offs like manicure/pedicure supplies, a scone (my favorite!) from my favorite coffee shop, Trader Joe's treats, a Target gift card, a summer fun basket for the boys...they have all brightened my day. It's so hard not to see friends but little surprises have made me feel loved. I'd love to surprise a few people with kindness this month.

+ Read and watch anti-racism selections from the 21-Day Challenge. This anti-racism resource by Eddie Moore Jr. (I found it via Sara) breaks out different selections and actions based on how much time you have (genius). While sitting and nursing I can easily watch a video or read an article. The resources I've engaged with so far have been thought-provoking and illuminating.

+ Occasional evening walks. I'm missing the evening walks I was doing so frequently before Maeve was born. I'm not yet ready to recommit to getting 10,000 steps per day but I would like to find time to get outside (when it's not blazing hot) and listen to podcasts or audiobooks and be with my thoughts.

+ Work on having Maeve sleep in her crib for naps. We've been holding Maeve for most of her naps. She sleeps so well this way! But it's time to help her learn to sleep in her crib. When we try she usually startles (even when swaddled) then wakes up, cries, and we have to start all over. Ugh it's not fun. But I know the more we help her practice the easier it will be.

Recurring monthly goals:

+ Track spending in Mint. The key to doing this is to choose a specific time, or put it on my list of three things that I often make and share in my Instagram Stories.

+ Have a budget meeting with Chris. 

+ Put phone away at 5 p.m. Recommitting to this!

Happy June, friends.