April 1st – it's our ten year anniversary today! Even a year ago we didn't think we'd spend our ten year anniversary anticipating the birth of our third child (or maybe holding our new little baby?? Finishing this up on March 31st) and we certainly did not expect a global pandemic to be happening all around us. What a day to remember.

My mom will keep the boys for a sleepover so we're planing to get breakfast take-out and coffee from a favorite place and will probably eat outside in our pretty backyard. Slow, quiet mornings are our favorites so although it won't be fancy it feels kind of perfect. Considering how uncertain the world feels and what certainty I feel in my love and marriage to Chris perhaps it's exactly the way to honor all these years and what we've made of our life together.

Since my due date I've felt somewhat in a place of in-between and limbo. Life has already been feeling that way with needing to abandon our usual routines and be at home. Then especially so waiting on the edge of our seats for our baby girl to arrive any day for the past two and a half weeks. I've been passing the days baking, cleaning, and walking. REPEAT. Inspired by Elise I've been sharing three things to get done each day in my Instagram stories and that's helped give some structure to my days.

To be honest I've been a little bored! I don't have my workouts to go to any more (although bonus: I also haven't set an alarm for 5 a.m. Orange Theory classes) plus no errands to run so I have to get my 10,000 steps a day around the neighborhood; I'm kind of tired of my walking routes even though it is nice to be outside. There's no after-school park hang outs where I can chat casually with other parents. No get togethers with friends, catching a daytime movie, or taking myself out for a leisurely lunch with a book. All the ways I thought I would pass the time waiting for our baby to arrive. I haven't felt like starting anything new, even a book, knowing that a very big, new thing will be arriving so soon.

Even though I'm a little bored, a little impatient, I'm appreciating this unique time "before." We'll remember these slow, beautiful spring days that we spent waiting for our daughter to arrive. We've had so many bonus days as a family of four plus extra time with my mom and that has been a gift. We've even had a handful of evenings and mornings to ourselves since my mom has had the boys sleep over at her house – such a treat! And those wouldn't have been as frequent if the boys had to be at school.

In a similar way that I've felt in limbo since our due date, looking ahead into April feels hard to pin down as well. I know we'll have a newborn (eventually!) but I don't know how hard and familiar it will all be. Or how the boys will adjust. Or whether it will be a distraction from the state of the world or might increase my anxiety about it. What I can do is keep focusing on the world inside our cozy house. I can keep naming three simple things to get done each day. I can keep feeling grateful for all that we have even in these uncertain times.

Big things happening this month:

+ Settling into life with a newborn and as a family of five. Not sure that our girl will have made her appearance by the time this publishes but she'll be here soon!

+ Our ten year anniversary! Even without a big celebration I am feeling so appreciative of Chris and our marriage. We'll have a low-key celebration today and plan to do something bigger in six months or so.

+ Dash turns 7! We're planning a fun day at home complete with a sundae bar, the birthday boy's dinner of choice (I'm betting on mac and cheese), and a family movie night. We thought we'd also ask friends and family to send video messages wishing Dash a happy birthday.

+ Easter. We'll see if we're able to have a little backyard family gathering by Easter. But either way we'll have an egg hunt and brunch. I'd love to try the baked French toast recipe from my new favorite cookbook.

April goals:

+ Rest and recover after giving birth. Our midwife team advises spending about 10 days essentially in bed after giving birth to let your body rest. I'm horrible at not being productive and active so that feels impossibly long to me. But I want to do my best at letting Chris and my mom do everything around the house for the first two weeks. My tasks will be to hold and nurse our baby girl, and take epsom salt baths as I'm able.

+ Research online workout options. I'm excited to get back to exercise when I feel up to it but my usual workout routines won't be available for the foreseeable future. I'll be spending lots of time sitting around this month so I hope I can start to get excited about at-home workout options. What are some of your favorites?

+ Research social distancing podcast setup for The Girl Next Door. Erica and I are hoping to record a couple of episodes over the next few months (luckily we banked most of the episodes we need through mid-July!) and I'd like to figure out how we can record from our separate houses (so sad! but at least it's temporary).

Recurring monthly goals:

+ Track spending in Mint. Need to catch up on this!

+ Have a budget meeting with Chris. With the uncertain economic situation we have been talking finances a lot lately. We are very fortunate that Chris's income is very secure but we are still trying to imagine worst case scenario just to be prepared. That includes imagining the possibility of Chris's income being furloughed (which happened during the previous recession). Hopefully his income will not be affected but if it is we'll already have an operating budget.

+ Put phone away at 5 p.m. I've been pretty terrible at this and have been on my phone more than ever. But also I'm not caring as much? It's been kind of nice to feel connected through social media and it's been a distraction from covid-19 and from waiting for baby girl to arrive. My phone use ebbs and flows throughout the year and I think right now if just a higher use time and I'm kind of okay with it.

Happy April, friends!

April 2012 | April 2013 | April 2014 | April 2015 | April 2016 | April 2017 | April 2018 | April 2019