A few weeks ago, Elise announced on Instagram that she and Kal had supplies left over after a script workshop and Kal would be doing custom scripts for $30. I emailed Elise immediately because I knew just the phrase that I wanted for our walls:

Everything is awesome

Chris and I loved The Lego Movie when we saw it last year and the theme song of Everything is Awesome is perfectly silly, catchy and optimistic. How can you not smile at lyrics like this: 

Trees, frogs, clogs
They're awesome!
Rocks, clocks, and socks
They're awesome!
Figs, and jigs, and twigs
That's awesome!
Everything you see, or think, or say
Is awesome!

At the time we were anticipating our second baby's arrival, Chris had earned tenure and indeed, everything felt awesome.

Fast forward to the first months of Cedric's life. Cedric was an easy baby and Chris and I enjoyed several days of being at home on parental leave together (we were both off for several weeks but Chris still had to attend some meetings that took him away from the house). Managing a baby and a toddler was an adjustment and we were not getting much sleep but we could still say that everything was awesome, we had our two boys.

Even as we had many happy moments and days the spring was challenging. Dashiell woke every morning at 4 am, or sometimes at 3:30 am, and would not go back to sleep. Chris was stretched very thin at work, the busiest he's ever been, and obviously our home life was not very relaxing. Several people that we know experienced very difficult or tragic things and we grieved for them. We felt so fortunate for everything that we have but carried sadness as we grappled with feeling vulnerable to what life can bring.

We traveled to Georgia and Austin at the beginning of the summer and had fun with family and survived long travel days with two little boys. Returning home to a relaxed schedule was a relief. As summer weeks passed we breathed. Some days I felt overwhelmed with pumping and dropping off and picking up both boys from daycare on my own (Chris was able to work many days from home during summer break) - so many bags, two children to carry and only two arms. I learned to always say "Yes!" when a teacher or fellow parents offered to help me (which was frequently).

By inches, a new balance started to emerge. Chris and I found time for day dates, the boys started sleeping a little bit better and as both boys get older I've found that caring for them on my own is manageable (I didn't say easy, but manageable) allowing Chris to have time to exercise or do some weekend work without giving me as much anxiety.

With Cedric eating solid food I've been intentionally planning a few hours of creative work time for myself on most weekends and can have two or three hours to myself to write or tend to podcast editing. I've also settled into a two times per week routine at Orange Theory and am starting to feel fit and energetic again (how I missed that!).

I framed our print and have plans to rearrange our gallery wall this fall to make it a central piece. It's a reminder to look at the big picture, even when we feel steeped in the details or even big things that feel so hard, to see that everything is awesome and to not miss an opportunity to feel so grateful for it.