I've been sitting here, trying to think of what to say about being a working mom, which I have been now for over seven months. It's something I'd like to talk about more in this space; I think it's as an important topic as finances to talk honestly about. At the same time I've been doing this for such a short amount of time and I'm always finding new dimensions, both the challenging and the rewarding.
I will say this: It's hard to face the demands of work and the expectations of others when being a mama and everything in my home world are my top priorities.
But also: At the same time, working challenges and engages me in ways that are different and that are important to being me and that fulfillment makes me a better mama. I feel really proud of myself both as a mama to Dashiell and partner to Chris and also for the ways I contribute at my job and the financial contribution I make to our family.
And this: Connecting with other working moms has been the number one thing that continues to buoy me and is something I feel very passionate about. Finding other working moms that you can talk to about the good and the tough is the best advice I would give to other working moms or moms about to go back to work.
A few months ago I was talking to a colleague who is also a full time working mom. She has a young son and gave birth to a second son a few months before I had Dash. I told her I felt like I was starting to get the hang of being a working mom and asked her if you ever fully get used to it. "You never get used to it," she said, "you just adapt."
After seven months back at work, since Dash was twelve weeks old, I do feel that I am adapting. It was hard to go back to work when Dashiell was 12 weeks old. Really, really hard. But lately I'm feeling like we've found our routine and many days I actually enjoy it. I enjoy my time commuting with Chris or listening to podcasts if I'm alone. I enjoy working productively at my desk, having uninterrupted hours to work and interacting with my colleagues. I enjoy the feeling of accomplishment from completing a project that contributes to an organization that I believe in. At the same time I can't wait to get to Dashiell at the end of each day and I wish that I was not away from him for so many hours.
Even though it was hard to go back to work and I wish that I could have taken off more than 12 weeks I don't regret working and I don't wish that I was staying home full time. Before I had Dashiell I wasn't sure how committed I would feel to my blog once he was born. I've been surprised to find that I feel more committed to it and approach it more seriously now more than ever. I've even taken on additional creative projects like developing an e-course and recording a podcast. All of this has made me realize that I love to work and to create and that I will always have a dimension of work outside of motherhood in my life.
I feel like this is a bit rambling and that there are so many more things to say! But for now I will say: I'm seven months into being a working mom and I'm adapting.