This week is my last week of maternity leave; I'm heading back to work on July 2. I vacillate between feeling excited and anxious and everything in between.
I do feel an excitement to return to the challenge and professional setting of my job. I'll admit that some days I daydream about the calm and quiet of my desk where I can sip a cup of coffee and lose myself in a project for a few hours. At the same time my heart already aches with missing Dashiell for the hours that I'll be away. I know him so well. I don't want to lose that close bond that we have and I don't want anyone else to know him better than I do (not including Chris of course). It can be overwhelming to feel such conflicting emotions all at once.
I'm trying to acknowledge that this will be a time of transition and it's OK if it's difficult and emotional. I can usually make the best of a situation, I just need time. Within the first two weeks of being back at work I bet I'll start to feel that we're getting a routine...and routines always make me feel better.
To make my return to work cheery I'm going to find an entertaining audiobook for my commute, plan to treat myself to coffee more often than usual, and am on the hunt for another happy desk plant. And I'll certainly need a framed picture (or two) of my favorite little guy.
I know that so many women and men have already blazed the working parent path and that happy balances do exist. I'm sure we'll find ours too but please wish me luck during this time of transition!