What I want to remember

What I want to remember vol. 5

What I want to remember vol. 5 | RISING*SHINING

What I want to remember vol. 5 | RISING*SHINING
What I want to remember vol. 5 | RISING*SHINING
What I want to remember vol. 5 | RISING*SHINING
What I want to remember vol. 5 | RISING*SHINING
What I want to remember vol. 5 | RISING*SHINING

I'm overdue for a roundup of things I want to remember about the boys. Right now my boys are 4 years old and 2 years old and this is what I want to remember: 

The way Cedric always has a song in his heart. He'll be chattering along and then burst into song as if it was the natural next part of the conversation. In current rotation: "Finkle, finkle little tar," "Hello, how do you do?" "Baby shark, do doo, do doo doo," and "Five little ducks went out one day..." I've often told him that he has a song in his heart and the other day he looked at me with a beaming smile and said, "I have a song in my heart."

Dash being such a sweet big brother - hugging Cedric, scratching his back, and patiently asking, "Well, what DO you want?" when Cedric is having a two-year-old moment. 

Watching Dash do the Magnetic MightMind game and watching his mind work. 

Cedric's toddler meltdowns being a bit easier to manage/handle than Dash. Perhaps it's the personality difference, or that this isn't our first toddler rodeo. Or maybe both. Thankful either way. 

How wild and riled up the boys can get. Separately my boys have energy but together - whew! I love how much they love to wrestle and play, especially with Chris.

Cedric's beloved stuffed animal cat, Sevy. When Cedric stayed with my sister-in-law while we adventured in the PNW he fell in love with their cat. For Christmas my sister-in-law gave him a stuffed animal cat that looks just like their Siamese cat and for his birthday he got another stuffed animal cat. He calls them both Sevy and sleeps with both every night.  

Cedric's bedtime routine: reading books with him lounging in my lap, saying "night night" to the characters in the book we're reading, gathering him in my arms, getting a last drink of water, and depositing him into bed. As I lay him down he just grins, and sometimes even chuckles, so happy to be going into his crib. He turns onto his belly, gathers his night-night (blanket) and two Sevy cats underneath him and then tucks in his feet. I pull his shirt down to over his lower back, cover his with a blanket and tuck him in, pat his little bum and say, "I love you," and leave the room. He says, "Bye-bye, Mama," as I leave.

Cedric tucking his little fists under his shirt and then suddenly revealing them with a big "TA DA!"

All the audiobooks we listen to in the car. (I mentioned a few of them here.)

Finding Dash in the front room cleaning up all the toys, unasked, after I had put Cedric to bed.

Cedric bursting into tears at the sight of a suited-up firefighter at a birthday fire station tour. 

How excited the boys get for new library books.

Dash loving being read chapter books before bed. He especially loved Amy Namey in Ace Reporter, Stuart Little, and Three Tales of My Father's Dragon (just a few word like "hate" and "whip" that we change on the fly).

Cedric's constant commentary as we drive to and from daycare each day: "I see sunset!" "I see bus!" "New road, new houses, guys!"(when we pass a neighborhood being built) "Fire engine!" "Mis-mis lights!" (christmas lights)

How happily each of the boys runs to their daycare classrooms each day. Around December drop-offs suddenly became so much easier and happier with Cedric. 

After his birthday, Cedric thinking the two candles we light at dinner time are for him.

How focused and intent Dashiell is when he is coloring. When we pick him up at preschool he's often completely absorbed. Often he'll stick his tongue out to the side of his mouth.

Explaining to Cedric the day after his birthday that it's not his birthday any more. Cedric taking matters into his own hands and bursting into, "Happy birthday to Thedic!"

 Cedric being Zingo obsessed. Just a few minutes after waking up he'll look into my eyes and say, "Mama, want to play Thingo?"

Enjoying taking Dash on outings. He's such an awesome sidekick. 

Dash's growing pains.

The earnest look of their shining brown eyes.

The way Cedric says, "Oh-tay."

Eating out at restaurants as a whole family and finding that it's something we can actually do and enjoy now - hip hip!



P.S. What I want to remember posts from the archives

What I want to remember vol. 4

What I want to remember | RISING*SHINING What I want to remember | RISING*SHINING What I want to remember | RISING*SHINING What I want to remember | RISING*SHINING
What I want to remember | RISING*SHINING What I want to remember | RISING*SHINING What I want to remember | RISING*SHINING What I want to remember | RISING*SHINING

My boys are 3 years 4 months and 19 months old and this is what I want to remember:

The near constant wrestling. They remind me of puppies.

Dash's sweet, nurturing nature and spontaneously coming to cuddle or hug us and saying, "I love you."

Cedric's big brown eyes and long dark lashes on his little face.

Dash's love of books. Recently we had put him to bed and then he came out to get our bag of library books and went right back to his room. When we check on him before we go to bed we often find him asleep with a book laying open on his chest or beside his pillow.

Bringing Cedric into our bed in the morning if Dash isn't awake yet and snuggling and reading books.

Cedric's exclamations of "Whoa!" when he sees pictures of big trucks or dinosaurs...or anything big.

The wonderful stories Dash tells. "The wild thing was coming closer...and closer...and closer! And so I run up into a tree! And then I get away in a airplane!"

Cedric announcing "Bih truh!"(big truck) to us whenever he sees a truck in the car. Usually he makes sure to get our attention, too: "Mama! Bih truh!"

Cedric checking to see who is in the car when we start to back out of the driveway, "Mama? Daddy?"

The deep pride that I feel when I can see that Dashiell is proud of something he did - like getting dressed all by himself.

The deep declarative voice that Dashiell sometimes uses when he talks. The other night we were at the dinner table and Chris made a banging sound in the kitchen. Dash got up from the table and called to the kitchen in his deep voice, "What is it Cwhis?" Chris and I are still laughing over it.

Cedric's love of I Spy books and the Find It pages in his Hello magazine.

All the audio books we listen to in the car. Cedric's favorite is Duck on a Bike (he asks, "Bike? Bike?") and can mimic some of the sections of the book. Dash's loves Where the Wild Things Are and Peter and the Wolf. When the wolf swallows the duck Dash narrates along with a British accent, "He swallowed her!" (Our favorite books lately)

Cedric alerting us of anything falling on the floor with a very loud "OH NOOOOO!" as if something truly terrible has happened.

Dash telling us he saw a shape in the clouds for the first time (a dinosaur).

Cedric getting my attention in the car one day, "Mama? Mama?" and then "humming" a little song for me.

Dash's excitement to start his first school year of preschool (he starts today!). Even though he's been doing a summer program he'll be moving to a new classroom today and this feels like our first "first day of school" experience and I'm so excited for him.

Hiding our collection of dinosaur figurines while the boys (attempt) to keep their eyes closed in the next room. (I remember playing this game so much with my dad and sister growing up.)

That solo daycare pick up and drop off has (thankfully) become so much more manageable. 

Watching Dash's sense of humor emerge and being able to joke with him.

Reading cooking magazines and cookbooks with Dash, a very favorite love of mine that I'm excited to share with my boys for years to come.

The focus and respect Dash shows when I give him cooking tasks.

That the boys are sleeping so much better! Cedric goes to bed so easily and sleeps through the night until 5/5:30. Dash usually goes to bed easily and is up 4:45/5 but will often wait in his room until his clock lights up around 5:30. There are still some too-early mornings with Dash but we are in such a better place than we used to be (hiring a sleep coach made all the difference and we are so thankful!).

The deeply contented "these are the days" feeling I have being with my family, especially on laid back weekend mornings, drinking coffee, playing blocks, reading books and not wanting to be anywhere else but right there.

P.S. Archive of all What I want to remember posts, family memory keeping blog post and podcast episode.

What I want to remember vol. 3


Dashiell is two years and eleven months old, Cedric is fifteen months old and this is what I want to remember:

+ Cedric's soft, plump, warm cheeks when he first wakes up and the smell of his morning breath.

+ The earnest look of Dash big brown eyes.

+ Cedric's pokey belly and the way he will lift his shirt when you ask, "Where's your belly?"


+ Dash throwing his arms around me in a big hug before he left the house and waving "bye!" like such a big boy, and then turning to blow me a kiss before running down the hall.

+ The delight both boys get from wrestling with each other.

+ Cedric's friendliness. He says "hi" with a wave and gravely voice to anyone who passes through the park, to cars that pass by our house or that are parked on the street, to anyone we pass in the hallways at daycare and to the drivers of cars we are stopped next to at stoplights.


+ Dash's cooperative, helpful and nurturing nature. He runs to Cedric's room when Cedric wakes up and says, "I'm here," he (sometimes) shares with Cedric without our prompting and will ask to have extra snack to give to Cedric.

+ The way Cedric clasps his hand behind his back as he walks thoughtfully. The behavior has earned him the nickname Little Senator.

+ Dash sitting next to me to nurse his baby doll when I nurse Cedric. Dash always takes off his shirt completely to nurse, a practice that he did not learn from me!

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+ Snuggling with Dash in our bed for his bedtime book. Recent favorites include Jumanji, In the Night Kitchen, Caps for Sale, Madeline and Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.

+ Both boys sitting at their table eating together.

+ The way Cedric often calls Chris "mama". When I pick him up from daycare he looks behind me and asks, "Mama?" Or he runs to Chris saying, "Mama!" and then back to me saying, "Mama!"

+ Cedric's love of I Spy books, Hello and Babybug.

+ Dash starting to learn to sing and narrate along to the CDs we listen to in the car.


+ The amazing, amazing feeling of both boys consistently going to be around 7 and sleeping through the night. Dash has been sleeping at least until 5 and often later, we are so happy and better rested. Edit: I started this post a few weeks ago and since then sleep has become not quite so good but reading this reminded me that it goes in phases and better sleep will return!

+ The big, loooong hug that Cedric gave my mom when she visited and came with me to pick the boys up from daycare.

+ Matching pajamas.

+ How quickly Cedric's vocabulary is growing. He attempts to repeat new words we tell him and everyday he understands and says more.

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+ Cedric signing "milk" with both hands to ask to nurse and then becoming so overwhelmed with eagerness that he is on the edge of crying when I ask, "Do you want to nurse?" Currently he nurses inconsistently, sometimes it's twice a day sometimes not at all for a few days.

+ Dashiell getting a length of floss and pretending he is walking around his "doggie."

+ Cedric immediately laying down on his belly and tucking his legs in on any blanket we lay down and saying, "nigh nigh."

+ Sitting with Chris post-bedtime, showing each other recent pictures of the boys and swapping stories of the cute and awesome things we've seen them do recently.

Previous what I want to remember posts.

What I want to remember vol. 2


So many things are happening and the boys are changing so fast! Currently Dashiell is two and a half years old and Cedric is just about to turn ten months old and this is what I want to remember:

+ The baby-soft feel of Cedric's skin and the way it feels springy and new even as it slides around over his little body when I pick him up and rub his back. I don't know when babies lose this but I'm trying to appreciate it every time I hold him.

+ Dashiell's language: adding -eeyah to words like Daddeeyah, Deeyah (Cedric), Dasheeyah.

+ The sounds of Chris playing with the boys; Dashiell shrieking as they run form room to room and Cedric looking thrilled just to be included as he looks on from Chris's arms.


+ The first time Cedric waved to me upon seeing me when I picked him up at daycare on Thursday, August 19. It was a big "hey over here!" kind of wave accompanied with a big goofy grin.  

+ Dashiell holding Cedric on his lap to read him a book and getting annoyed that Cedric wants to grab the book. Cedric being thrilled to be so close to Dashiell.

+ Dashiell hiding under a blanket, behind his napkin or in his cabinet and asking, “Where’s Dashiell…?” When we find him he immediately hides in the same place again.

+ Dashiell hiding and then jumping out and saying “Dashiell...attack!”

+ Dashiell saying, “Daddy, is green! Is wake time!” when his clock turns green (at 5:10 am). And then as he walks out of his room explaining, "I wake up. And I knock my door. And you come to get me!"


+ Cedric practically leaping from my arms to one of his daycare caregivers, a sweet grandmother-type who is not shy about telling me that Cedric is her favorite.

+ The way Cedric politely rests his hands on his high chair tray and opens his mouth to eat his food. And the way that he sometimes changes his mind at the last minute and bats the spoon away, slinging food everywhere.

+ The way Dash says his name as “Das-uhl”, no “sh” sound.

+ Cedric happily biting my upper left arm as I hold him and all the bruises and bites that must make it look like I was in a fight.


+ Cedric’s ridiculous goofy big grin and big eyes, you can’t help but smile when you look at him.

+ Dashiell finding a "D" just about anywhere and announcing, "D for Dashiell!"

+ Cedric’s loud squawks as he bear-crawls around (which have just about ended, now he walks!).

+ The sigh of relief that Chris and I share after we’ve loaded all the bags for the day into the car and wrangled two small boys into their carseats.

+ Peeking into Dashiell’s room at daycare before we pick him up, finding him engaged in an activity and conversing with friends and his teacher.


+ Dashiell saying “thank you” without our prompting

+ Dashiell running naked about the house.

+ Dashiell asking me about my day and telling me that he missed me.


+ Dashiell beginning to call Cedric "Dredric" instead of "Didit," which came after "Deet deet," bittersweet.

+ The worried look Cedric gets and the way he chirps with concern when he watches Dashiell leave the room.

+ Dashiell getting out toys for Cedric or picking up a toy he dropped and giving it back without any prompting from us.


+ Cedric's "yah yah yah!" protesting when we don't feed him fast enough or take something away from him (usually a shoe he is trying to chew).

+ The way Cedric tugs at his own hair while he is nursing and his furrowed brow which seems to say, "Who is tugging on my hair?!"

+ Watching Dashiell put a granola bar back into the pantry when we asked him to even though he really, really didn't want to. 

+ Cedric's delight in baths. He lunges towards the bath until we put him in and then merrily splashes all about.

+ Dash's obsession with riding his bike and asking us for "a pedal bike."

+ Dashiell taking Cedric's hand every time they are in the bike trailer together and holding hands the entire time without us ever suggesting it.


What I want to remember vol. 1

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I've had a draft post about all the different things each of my boys is doing right now. But before I can finish it and hit "publish" they've changed and it's out of date. So I'm going to eschew capturing everything for capturing something. I hope that each volume of "what I want to remember" will be an easy way to write about the particular age of each of my boys and what it's like to be their mama.

Currently Dashiell is two years and 3 months old and Cedric is six months and a half months old and this is what I want to remember:

+ Dash's big love of big trucks. He asks us, "Play big trucks, yeah?" with the most earnest brown eyes, sometimes with his head cocked way to the side. It melts me. In the car he points out "a big truck!" and also "tracker!" (tractors). One day we saw a tractor being pulled by a big truck! Mind blown. There's a construction site on the way to daycare each day and the promise of seeing big trucks there has made my drive more pleasant many a morning. Every Friday we listen for the recycling truck. When Dash hears a rumble he opens his mouth so wide in an "OOOO" and says, "garbage truck!" and tears to the front door.

+ Cedric beginning to crawl in his halting, determined way over the weekend before he moved to the Crawlers room at daycare. And it looks like he's going to crawl in the same knee-scoot-knee-scoot way just like Dash. He's so small but his limbs seems so long, we joke that he looks like Gollum lurching along. A week after crawling and he's starting to pull up on things!


+ Dash's incredible skill at riding his balance bike. He flies down small hills and expertly steers. 

+ Tucking Dashiell into bed and laying next to him, telling stories, singing a song or telling him all the ways he made me happy and proud that day. When I finally leave the room he says, "Go sleep, mama. ABC, Wheels on Bus, bye!" I think to suggest to me that if I want to fall asleep that the ABC and Wheels on the Bus songs would do the trick.

+ Cedric's fine brown hair that is getting long enough on top that it's starting to stick up.

+ The way Cedric shrieks and cracks up at Dashiell.

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+ When Dashiell brings toys to Cedric without being asked or picks up toys that Cedric dropped and gives them back.

+ Dash's light blue shorts that make him look like he's ready for a Cape Cod vacation and his yellow shirt with "big trucks"; Cedric's BookPeople onesie, construction site onesie and leggings.

+ Dash saying, "I'm taaw!" (tall) whenever he is standing on something (at the playground, in his tower, on his step stool). 

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+ Dash saying that he needs his "tep tool" (step stool) and then proceeding to reach something or turn off a light or wash his hands.

+ Cedric babbling "dadadada" and his coos and shrieks, I think he's more vocal than Dash was at this age.

+ Singing "Wheels on Bus" and "ABC" with Dash. He favorite part is "driver on the bus says 'move on back!'" and "next time won't! you! sing! with! me!"

+ The way Dash calls Cedric "Did-it." When Cedric cries sometimes he'll say "It's o-tay Did-it," or starting singing him ABC. And other times he'll say, "No Did-it!"

+ The way Cedric face planted into his food the first time we fed him.

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+ How active Cedric is! It's really difficult to change his diaper or put clothes on him because he just wants to turn over and crawl away. We thought Dash was active but we might be in for it with Cedric! 

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+ Playing "tunnel" with Dash, which is diving under the covers of our bed or his and rolling around.

+ Dash announcing that "It's a wion!" (lion) and then recruiting us to help him chase and catch the lion all over the house. Sometimes the lion is as big as a hummingbird, other times about the size of a basset hound, almost never the size of an actual lion. I just love watching his imagination come to life.

+ Asking Dash a question and him telling us, "...not sure."

+ How much easier sleep is with Cedric than it was with Dashiell (so thankful!).

+ That Dashiell has been getting up in the 4 am hour for so long that it feels normal (but we're working on changing this!).

+ Cedric's face lighting up and entire body starting to wiggle when it's time to nurse.

+ How much Chris and I both love love love our boys but how hard this time is, too. I'm so proud of us as parents and for finding little ways to make time for each other and for ourselves.

+ The way that I can still hear Dash's voice in my head even after he goes to bed. I wish I could remember it forever just the way it is now.